COVID-19 Pandemic Parenting & Homeschooling

by Eiko Nakazawa

COVID-19 has added more than a few bullet points to my job description as CEO at Dearest, an early childhood education and care start-up. And while that description previously included working with a team of early childhood education experts, researching top curricula, and partnering with real estate companies to offer our childcare and programming as an amenity, it now includes childcare provider, teacher, decontaminator, and wine drinker.

I am in a privileged position to even be able to take the time to write this: I have a startup with supportive investors, a great partner, health insurance, working internet, soap and running water. My company has been able to shift fairly quickly to respond to the changing needs of New Yorkers and in doing so, continue to secure work for the hundreds of educators with whom we partner. My child is healthy. None of these things I take for granted. We are, I am, indebted to the first responders and essential service workers, the grocery store cashiers, the pharmacists, the teachers.

Yet I still find myself feeling a distinct sense of loss. As a VC and Angel back-ed startup, we had a clear growth plan, milestones we were reaching for, and a runway until the next round. We had a plan. And now, everything has changed.

The first week after public schools closed, I felt, acutely, like a failure. I put my son in front of a screen during conference calls, I stopped making breakfast (or lunch for that matter), I put work first before anything else. Dearest was born from a mission to provide better early education and care options to families, work that required my full attention. Work that now means I can’t provide that same level of care for my own son.

In a desperate attempt to feel less like a failure, I attended webinars while boiling pasta, and listened to experts on podcasts on how to manage parenting and work during this challenging time.

Over and over I heard: try to plan to only get half of the things done. This may be solid advice for some, but it does not work for a small startup or most small businesses.

Parenting hacks from startup founder mother during pandemic remote learning

Our changing environment and paradigm shift mean that everyone is at full capacity, and we need to get double, not half, the amount of work done day-to-day. Three weeks in, I’m beginning to acclimate to this new normal. And in the hopes that what I’ve learned so far is helpful to even one person, I’m sharing my findings below.

1. Prioritize, Prioritize, Prioritize.

If parenting while founding a company has taught me anything, it is to prioritize. Just like the law of gravity, we cannot fight the basic concept of opportunity cost: we miss out on things, when we choose to focus on another. After feeling panic, denial, and grief, I accepted the fact that I needed to prioritize even further and take life one day at a time. With the input of my team, I implemented daily online standup meetings every morning to go through our priority list in detail. We sort and rank the work each of us needs to tackle, and consistently sync up to ensure high priority tasks are completed within each day. My family factors heavily into these new priorities. I start the day off with my son. We talk about his schedule for the day, what he is excited about, and how he’s feeling. My four-year-old’s newest Coronaviruis themed vocabulary is “ high-priority” and “pivot”.

2. Find things to do together.

Managing stress has become even more important. I need meditation and yoga in my daily routine to stay sane. And little ones aren’t immune to stressors. They are incredibly “vulnerable to the emotional impact of traumatic events that disrupt their daily lives.” So I meditate and attempt yoga with my young son. We now practice both together, which has helped me allocate more time with him to bond, and to remind him that we’ll get through this together. We also do cleaning and house chores together, making it silly and competitive, while integrating this time together into our daily routine.

3. Move the learning online.

Just like most schools, my son’s switched to remote learning. His day starts with a 30 minute morning meeting with his teachers and class of 18. It’s short, but still helpful when building some structure in my son’s routine. In addition to his school’s support, I book private early childhood teachers for online sessions which allow me some uninterrupted work time, and support my son’s literacy and numeracy development. Pre-Corona, I can’t say I was an advocate for online teaching with young learners. But I’ve changed my tune. The 1:1 environment, led by highly skilled teachers, actually works for my 4 year old. They tell jokes, they bond, and importantly, he learns while engaged the entire time.

4. Switch Off.

Now that I can’t leave any work at the office, it is important for me to build in screen-free time into my day, a period when I can fully focus on everything else but work. For me, that time is between 6:00 and 8:30pm, from dinner time until my son goes to bed. My screen-free time is time spent with my family.

5. Practice Gratitude.

The last few weeks have been intense, but my team, my community, and the people of New York City inspire me. I remind myself that my family and friends are safe and healthy, that we have food in the refrigerator and that we are able to help others who do not. I close my eyes and think about what I have to be grateful for before going to bed. For some, journals, gratitude jars, and stones seem to work. For me, it’s just a one minute exercise, that helps me sleep well and keep my motivation up for the new day.

I’d love to know what other founder parents with little ones are doing during this period. Please email me at hello@dearest.io with your hacks! We’d love to feature you!